Everyone has their own unique experience, so I want to share
mine!
I didn’t grow up having that many friends. Not saying I had
none at all, I had 3 close friends that I care about deeply. But I wasn’t
exactly popular nor “well-liked” by the majority of the kids in my school. “Weird”,
“Freak”, “Autistic”, I have heard most of it. Looking back, it was just kids
being silly, but being one myself back then it really effected my self-esteem
and self-image. But it all changed when I went to language school in Osaka,
Japan.
FRIENDS IN JAPAN
During language school, I met so many new faces from
different parts of the country. People who didn’t judge me for my interests and
the way I expressed myself. I made new friends, LOTS of them. And that continued
to university, where I met MORE people with various backgrounds and SOO many
stories to tell. I love every single one of my friends and have learned so much
from each of them.
Don’t get me wrong, starting off was a challenge. Especially
trying to connect with Japanese people in my school. And to be honest, I became
a bit withdrawn from them because I thought they didn’t really like foreigners (after
a few failed attempts at befriending them). But slowly, I started to understand
how they think, and truly it was just the result of culture difference (and
maybe a dash of racism- HAHA I’m not going to sugar coat it). The international
students however, we hit it off pretty easy I would say! I think it’s because
of our shared experience as foreigners, and we’re all a bit unhinged in some
parts or entirely.
Despite the ups and downs, I am very grateful I had supportive parents who accepted me for who I am. And thanks to that support, I didn't try to change myself when the other kids said I'm all those weird things. "If they don't like me for who I am, then they are just not for me". So I was quite surprised when I met people who like me for who I am here in Japan.
LIFESTYLE
Absolutely wrecked. I sleep at around 2 or maybe 3 AM almost every "night", and wake up at 12 PM-ish. It. Is. Not. Healthy. I am on my 3rd year now, and I'm gradually trying to fix my sleeping schedule. Part of it was because I used to work part-time at least 5 times a week during my 1st year at night, so I would always get home at 11:45 or sometimes even 00:20. But that was 2 years ago, and this is the only bad habit I haven't been able to tackle, yet. I also play video games with my friends during this hour too, because we're busy during the day we could only play together at night. I really need to fix my priorities...
I went through some sort of depression during middle school, where I wouldn't brush my teeth for a week or shower for a week. I was terrible at taking care of myself because I just didn't have that much will to live for some reason which I can't remember why I felt that way, I just did. Maybe it was because of my parents fighting all the time, they almost got divorced on several occasions, or maybe because I didn't feel accepted at school. But, fixing those bad habits took a very long time.
I started focusing on fixing one habit at a time. When I started my 1st year in university, I tried brushing my teeth more often (and now I always brush everyday). Then once that became consistent, I moved on to some chores such as always do the dishes right after using them, sweep the floor once a week (I clean it three times a week now), etc. It was a long and hard process, really hard. But over time, I finally feel nice in the state I am right now. Not satisfied just yet, I want to keep improving and do better. But what I have right now, it's quite good in my opinion.
RELATIONSHIP
I have never dated before in my 21 years of life until RECENTLY, I finally got into my first relationship and it's with my best friend. I'm still new to this and I don't know what will happen, but one thing for sure is that I don't regret anything. I was really scared to get into a relationship because of seeing my parents' marriage and other families' problems. But I won't let trauma hold me back from living life. I believe good and healthy relationships exists out there.
FUTURE
When I first came to Japan, I thought I was going to work here. Oh how wrong I was. I did NOT expect life here, especially in Tokyo, to be so packed and busy. 3 years living here made me realize the good and the "bad" of living here, and after a lot of thinking I decided I would go back to my home country. A lot of people might think I made a weird decision for choosing Indonesia over Japan, but I don't think I would survive living here without my friends. Friends who I will part with once I graduate.
I don't have a million dollar plan, and I have a lot of things I want to try and explore in my 20s. So, if God allows it, I want to travel to other countries and make my own projects. Projects I hope can reach many hearts around the world. I hope by sharing my stories and experiences, someone out there feels inspired. I don't need to be famous or well known by millions, just impacting one person's life is more than enough. Because that one soul is already a whole lifetime.
I can see myself working for a studio, or maybe do freelance work, be a mother(?), a content creator online, who knows? Maybe I can do all haha!
The future is scary, full of the uknown. And it's only going to get harder. Things get tough and sometimes I feel alone. But we're all in this together, and that's a comfort of its own. Thank you for reading this far!
